Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."

Well Im back once again for my not daily posting. In all fairness I have written since my last post I just haven’t published it. Why you might ask? Because like I said from the beginning this isn’t about blogging it’s about me damn it! What did I write about? I don’t remember, obviously nothing of importance because if it was 1. I would have posted it 2. I would have remembered 3. Nothing I write is of importance. I mean seriously I’m not writing for a fucking science journal here. But before I piss you off in my introductory paragraph let me remind you to just be happy that I’m deciding to write publically and enjoy the following.

What really made me want to write was the other day on 99.5 on their morning show they made a general public announcement that you could get injured from wearing UGG boots/slippers. So they had people (girls) call in who had been injured due to the wearing of UGGS. The calls went something like this

Caller: “Hey I was wearing UGG boots and I sprained my ankle”

Kane: “How did you do that?”

Caller: “I was walking up stairs and I missed a step and sprained my ankle. It is the UGGS fault because they are so light you don’t have to lift your feet, its like you glide on the floor”


Caller 2: “So I was outside shoveling snow in my UGGS and I came inside and I skipped really bad and I swear I broke my tail bone”

Kane: “And it was because you were wearing UGGS?”

Caller 2: “Oh of course”


Caller 3: “Ya I sprained my ankle because of my UGG boots”

Kane: “Ya what happened”

Caller 3: “Well I was (insert completely harmless activity, probsbly walking), and I rolled my ankle and sprained it!”

Kane: “And that was because you were wearing UGGS?”

Caller 3: “Ya they have absolutely no ankle support so when I rolled it it just went out”

Ok honestly UGGS were not the problem, the owners were. Notice nobody called in saying my UGGS attacked me, or they gave you some sort of rash. No you did an everyday activity and fell because you are a moron. You would have never have blamed your stupid boots until you heard on the radio that they were the source of injuries. The only reason you know you were wearing your boots when it happened was because you wore them every single day between December 1st and somewhere in the middle of February. Flip flips have absolutely no ankle support but you don’t hear radio shows talking about how dangerous they are. I slipped after shoveling snow, well no shit dumbass; you probably had snow stuck on the bottom of the treads. And my personal favorite, its their fault because they are so light its like gliding on the floor, is that really your excuse for saying I tripped walking up the stairs? We’ve all done it before; hell I’ve done it a lot. Not once did I blame my shoes (or lack thereof).

Before I start a frenzy about stupid people and how much they irritate me, I’ll switch the subject, sort of. Because the job site that I am working at right now involves a lot of manual labor and not too much of the thinking part there is a lot of discussion and thinking done while at work. I don’t know if it’s all the drugs I’m on, the hours of time to think, or the hilarious people I work with (or any combination of the three) there are a lot of really funny things done/said at work. I had the brilliant idea of starting an animated sketch comedy show about the things we say at work. There have been many great jokes thrown around so far so I’ll spit one out and let me know if you actually think its funny. A guy is living his ordinary life and he notices he’s checking out both girls and guys, he’s a little confused as to his sexual orientation and doesn’t know what to do. He goes day in and day out trying to figure it out. Eventually he decides to pray and asks God for some sort of sign letting him know if he’s straight or gay. The next day he gets up and is pumped for a great day and ready to see what God is going to show him. As soon as he steps outside there is a handwritten sign in his lawn saying “HOMO”. He is a little sad ad first and then after a second or two comes to terms with it and goes on his merry (gay) way. Now add a little more humor in-between, some good animation, and music and I think it would be funny. It might just be me because I had the idea but let me know. That is just one example of the weird things that come to my mind while working; and it’s not even the funniest of weirdest. It would be the humor and animation of Family Guy, and the concept of Robot Chicken (short little animated skits, but with good animating and actually funny).

Because of the hard manual labor that I do (no matter how much fun we have doing it) I am completely exhausted and need to go to bed. Although I don’t write for feedback usually let me know if that is funny in any way. And be completely honest because if it’s not I’m ok with it because it’s what gets me through the day and that’s all that matters.

No comments:

Post a Comment