Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies

Nothing new going on here. Another snow fall and another day stuck inside. I spent most of my day painting my bedroom and shoveling snow. This move into my basement is turning out to be more of a hassle than I imagined. I thought it was going to be a quick switcharo, but instead my mom is insisting all this work be done. I’m beginning to think she wanted to switch just so she could get the room while it was open to make the changes she wanted made. It has been five days since we switched and I’m still stuck in the one room, and found out today when my bedroom is ready she wants to work on this one too! Its annoying but what can I do?

Other than that dumb bull shit things are going pretty well. I say pretty well in a relative term, considering there over two feet of snow outside, my living area smells like paint and my parents are driving me insane. So I guess when I say things are well I really just mean I haven’t had to resort to killing myself or my parents just yet, but if we get any more snow somebody isn’t going to make it.

I’m actually feeling quite guilty because I’ve been slacking on my P90X workouts this past week but between not having any space in my room to work out and being so tired lately I just haven’t been motivated too. Besides I think moving furniture and all the snow shoveling I’ve done this week makes up for it. I have to start it back up soon because I know if I don’t get back on it next week I’m off for good. Its crucial to stay on it too because in the winter I don’t get a whole lot of exercise like I do in the other seasons. Soccer games have been cancelled every week due to snow, basketball games have been called off as well, and work isn’t even as physically demanding in the cold so I really need to be doing this to stay in some sort of shape or else I’ll become some sort of blob and have to start from nothing when soccer starts up again.

I’m putting so much emphasis on soccer because it’s really all I have to look forward too. Soccer has been my passion ever since I can remember and the only thing that’s been consistent throughout my life. There has never been a moment or season I haven’t been playing soccer. I played every spring and fall season from the age of 3-18 sometimes more than one team at a time. When I went off to Snow I played on the club team there. It wasn’t much of a team and only had two games against other schools but it meant playing every day and that’s all I needed. We played indoor soccer during off season and intramurals in spring. Really soccer was my saving grace at Snow and gave me some happiness in some of the roughest times in my life. Since I’ve been back I’ve played on about seven different teams now and is again a saving grace. Going through a tough work week I can rely on having a soccer game to make me feel better, win or lose. Just knowing I have a game that night makes the worst day better. The day I crushed my finger I didn’t want to go to the hospital because I didn’t want to miss my soccer game (unfortunately I was forced into going).

I’m not really sure why I felt the need to go into such detail about that other than I think I just miss it right now in this snowy mess. I haven’t had a game in a few weeks and I’m getting withdrawals, although there are worse things I could be feigning so it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m just glad for the chance to push my body physically and to clear my mind mentally a few times a week to keep me sane. I think we all have that something we look forward to that gives us that extra boost to make it through the week, wither its soccer or going out for drinks. So I guess what it really comes down to are the little things in life that keep us happy. Ya sure I’d like a million dollars and be able to goof off every day and not work, buy all sorts of cool gadgets, and party all the time. Reality is I can’t though so I’m going to have to tough it out day by day like everybody else so we need to remember those little things to keep us happy. Don’t be let down all the time because your job is hard, you want a raise, and you’re not driving a BMW. Instead remember to do small things you enjoy to keep your mind off the things that make you miserable. Trust me I’m a doctor

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Nothing of any significance happened today so I’m going to waste no time into my subject today of bad parenting. I guess it all started when I watched an ad on YouTube (to watch click here). Also with my outburst on fat kids it’s led me to getting frustrated on bad parenting. There are numerous overweight children on talk shows and tons of new shows about bringing bad kids to strict families, or bringing in strict nannies to bad families. When has it gotten to the point where parents can’t even control their own children?

Some people blame bad television, graphic movies, and violent video games for their children’s improper behavior. Overall that just leads back to the parents for allowing their children access to those programs. I’m no poster boy but I’m no screw up either. I may not be perfect but I’m a well behaved member of society and I can attribute that to the way I was raised. Growing up I remember I was only allowed to watch 30 minutes of TV a day and what I was allowed to watch was strictly limited. I didn’t get my first gaming system until 8^th grade and was I by no means allowed to have a violent game. Obviously I had access to those things in a limited amount via a friend’s house, staying home sick, or parents not being home for the evening. But because it was not a regular thing and I knew I wasn’t allowed to do those things those principals stuck with me. I don’t know if I followed those rules because I was a good kid or out of fear of what my mom would do if she found out but either way it worked. That point on fear brings me to my next point though of discipline.

Whatever happened to hitting your kids? I know that wasn’t really my generation, but my parents who were hit at home for misbehaving or in school for mouthing off but why did it stop? My parents did hit me occasionally when it was deserved but I’m ok. I didn’t break or need years of counseling to get over that when I hit my sister my dad hit me. If kids aren’t getting punished for what they do wrong how are they going to learn its wrong? So by the time Timmy is eight and never been punished in his life and doesn’t listen to you when you tell him to go to bed, why should he? He knows you’re not going to do anything about it. On the other hand if he’s raised that if he doesn’t listen he’s going to he hit or grounded he’s sure as hell going to jump when you tell him too because he knows it’s not worth the consequence not to. I just see these shows and I wonder how it got to that point. These parents let their kids walk all over them and are too afraid to do anything about it. If you can’t get your four year old to stop hitting you when you tell him knock it off, hit him back. I don’t mean a black eye and some loose teeth but enough to get the point across. Ya’ll they’ll probably cry but it would be more of shock than from pain. It just sickens me how easy parents give in to the sound of crying. I could keep going on about how much I hate that and the sick feeling it gives me just to think about but I’ve got one more stop on the tirade trade of mine.

I can’t stand obesity, I think it’s disgusting. Not in the way you would imagine though, not the physical appearance of how that person looks but the cause of it. I don’t think anybody can get obese unless they try especially at such a young age (because we’re still talking about kids and parenting). All the little kids I know have an insane amount of energy and a metabolism higher than empire state building. So how is it that those three year olds are weighing the same amount as baby elephants? I’m going to relate this again to my experience growing up since I can’t use any parental experience. Elementary school I would go play with friends every day after school. I would either walk or ride my bike to wherever I was going, from there we would go out and play. We would play football or soccer in the yard, go to the school and play basketball, or just ride bikes through the neighborhood. When we stayed inside we boxed, wrestled, played hide and seek, or some other sort of exercise. Now I just see kids plopped down in front of a TV or video game for hours. I understand that’s easier than actually watching over your own offspring but come on show some responsibility! Also I wasn’t allowed to have any sugar and my mom cooked with only organic food. I realize that is a little over the top but just the basic healthy home cooked meals to replace the fast food because you don’t want to cook. Or switch the apples with the Oreos, its little things that that make the difference. Because when you give Junior junk food for snack, he sits in front of a television for hours until he eats his happy meal, and then goes back for a little bed time movie, yeah your kid is going to become a porker.

I’m going to leave it at that for now but it just bothers me seeing that and wondering what’s wrong with the world? I mean I say this not having any kids and realize it’s easier said than done, but I mean I know I’m going to be busy but I’m not going to substitute my childs health and wellbeing for some extra time in the office or to go out and have a good time. Or just chain some damn weights on chubbys ankles and make him walk his fat ass the 5 blocks to school instead of driving him……

Everyone has a right to be stupid; some people just abuse the privilege.

Today I found heaven, and heaven has a name. That name is Costco. This place is amazing! I’m not talking about the buying in bulk for discounted prices I’m talking about the store itself. Maybe it was the fact it was the first time being out of my house in two days but that was a freakin blast. I got to eat pizza and push a cart and get free samples. But the best part is you can do whatever you want in there. It’s not like Wal-Mart where the people walk around and yell at you for playing with toys, you get away with anything. I guess that’s part of the privilege of being a paying card carrying member. I laid down on a bunch of canned peaches and pretended to take a nap, I hid (and scared the shit out of some guy) in a huge thing where they keep extra boxes, and did a cannonball into it later. It wasn’t the fact that nobody saw because employees saw it happen and didn’t say anything, one thought it was actually funny and hid me under some boxes! I felt like royalty today in Costco, is that the same concept that country clubs have too?

I guess it was the cabin fever that made it so much more enjoyable because everything else we did today was a lot more than it should have been. We yelled at people as we drove by them and swore at all the bad drivers who were idiots in the snow. One car in particular had managed to drive halfway up one of the snow embankments and got stuck. I don’t know what they were thinking trying to drive up it because they didn’t just barely knick it, they were full on tried to drive straight up that son of a bitch. They actually made it about halfway up to before they suck in, looks like they won’t be getting their car back until June.

Also driving home there was a little old lady who couldn’t even stand up fully that was trying to shovel out her driveway. I told the driver to stop and I hopped out to go help this poor old lady. I offered my help and she gladly accepted and I got to work and cleared out the rest of her driveway. She offered to pay me after I took over the shoveling but I told her that it wasn’t necessary. So I finish my work and she tries to hand me money and I kindly refuse because I didn’t do it to take her money but because she was truly in need of help. She insisted that I take it and as I tried to push her hand away she yells “than I’ll just leave it here” and throws the money at me. So I pick up the bills and she walks back inside her house. I count the bills and it’s a lousy six bucks all in ones. Seriously I know it’s a recession but six dollars? I would have complained had I been doing it for money but instead I waited for her to return to her house and I walked up and put the money in a secure place where she would see it next time she exited her house.

I don’t even know why she bothered she definitely did not look capable of driving, and absolutely should not drive with snow on the ground. And for the record, if you have an SUV it doesn’t mean you can drive in snow. Sunday there was people getting stuck all over the place and it was all SUV’s. You didn’t see little cars getting stick because they knew they couldn’t make it. I have an SUV and this thing sucks so I just left it alone till all the roads were clear and got it today. I guess its true that only stupid people are breeding. Seriously people just seem be getting stupider every single day and its crazy. Is there something in the water? Or are they just too stupid to know how birth control works so they are the one poppin out little retards? Is stupidity the dominant gene and being smart is recessive? Whatever it is something is going down. First there was the obese kids epidemic, and now it’s turning out that those little fatsos are complete morons too. The future of this world is doomed.

I could write more but I think I’ll save it for tomorrow because I could write a lot on bad parenting and all these stupid nanny 911 shows and trading spouse shit. When they trade wives do they sleep with them too? That’s what I want to know, I don’t care that little Sally doesn’t like the new mommy because she’s mean and ugly. But I’ll save all that drama for tomorrow.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Good job Saints, I don’t freakin care you won. In fact I didn’t care so much that I didn’t even watch the game. I felt the need to sleep was greater than to watch two teams I don’t care for duke it out on TV. I’m not going to watch the super bowl just because it’s the super bowl. It is fun to have a party and watch the game with friends but I didn’t go to one. So since I wasn’t at a party eating chips and pizza and didn’t like either team enough to watch I took a nap. To be quite honest it was one of the best naps I’ve ever had.

I’m actually still really tired and want to go back to sleep but I’ll finish writing in here first before I call it a night. I didn’t write just to say I don’t like the Saints I do actually plan on saying something a little more profound. Nothing is coming to mind though; I’m so brain dead right now I can’t muster up a few lousy paragraphs about anything.

I’ve got work in the morning and am actually looking forward to going. I’ve been stuck inside for two straight days and I need out! I am also looking forward to work because I like what I do but I really need to get out. I think the best thing about my job is all the room for progress and opportunity to learn new things. Now I never really liked school but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to learn. I started this job with my main purpose to help dig holes, carry heavy objects, and assist technicians however they needed. I knew absolutely nothing about anything in this industry; I didn’t even know what most of the tools they used were. I’ve been working there for eight months and have learned so much. Although I have learned all this great amount of information it hardly even scratches the surface of what there is to now.

I know how to install certain types of operators that we use, I can figure out why things aren’t working sometimes, or to switch something out, but that’s really just the beginning of what there is to know. Our line of work has such variety that I could work on something completely different ever day of the week. It’s just crazy how much technology there is and the things that we can do with it. I’m learning about things I thought were just made up in movies and not actually possible. Even the simple things we do are just incredible. Did you ever think about how you can push a button and your car unlocks? How at 1:30 am you come to a light and it switches for you? These are some of the technologies that we use on a daily basis that most people don’t even think twice about.

Maybe its just me and my curiosity but I don’t like just knowing that things work, I want to know why and how. I guess that’s why I enjoy my job so much because besides doing a service for people and getting paid to fix things but I’m also learning. Every day I learn something new at work wither it’s on the job site or in the office just having somebody explain a relay to me. I love knowing I’m not going to go out at work and be bored with the same old hum drum bullshit that makes everyday life so boring. I look forward to work and go in with an open mind so I can become better at what I do. I like what I do and I want to be the best.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be

It’s been a day or two since I wrote but who’s counting. It snowed an ass load the past two days (about two feet) and I absolutely hate it. If I didn’t emphasize it enough in my last post, I really hate snow! Its cold, wet, and it sucks. So I’ve been stuck in pretty much all day which also sucks. What I would do just to go to 7-11 right now! Although the snow hasn’t been all bad, last night RJ and I went out in his badass Jeep and we drove around in the snow. That thing is a beast I was pretty impressed and it was loads of balls.

Today was not quite as exciting though. I spent all day moving my crap downstairs while moving all my parents crap upstairs. It wouldn’t have been so bad but there were a few things hindering my success. First is the fact I have no bedroom at the moment. The room which is going to be my bedroom is covered in dust and mold so I can hardly breathe due to allergies and has to be cleaned before moving in. Second thing was moving stuff sucks. It was tiring moving desks, beds, bookcases, and other types of furniture along with all the stuff the accompanied them. Last of all I had to spend an entire day at home with my parents. That was probably the worst part about the day (beside shoveling snow).

Overall though I guess I can’t complain. My parents were kind enough to give up their downstairs dwelling to me for more room and privacy. It all started when I talked with my mom one morning (about 8am on a Saturday when my mom woke me up to talk to me) and told me that I should consider this idea she had as opposed to my idea of moving out. Really I’m just glad to be saving money and not giving up half a months worth of work just to live somewhere. I’m horrible at saving money and I could only imagine how little money I would have if I was paying rent. Hopefully I can do better so in a year or so when I decided to move out for real I’ll have a little financial stability.

But aside from all that boring nonsense I found out some interesting stuff about myself the other day. I went to a psychiatrist the other day because I am in between doctors and was in need of more medication so I needed to see a doctor that could prescribe it for me. But since I was paying a ridiculous amount of money to do this and the couch was so comfy I decided to let him in on a few secrets on the life of Jeff. After an hour or so and a few heartwarming stories that would even make Disney cringe but he came to his final analysis that on top of depression I’m also bi polar.

Now I’ve never been one to depend on medicine to get by, or to blame a disorder for any of my problems but there comes a point when I have to decide what the right decision is. I thought to myself “hey everybody cries” when I was feeling depressed and it worked a little until I finally had to give in so I could get a good nights sleep. I never could pay attention in school and had a hard time doing my work and found out I got ADD and a reading disability. I decided to tough it up and continue on my own without any medicinal aid So now I have to think, can I handle this roller coaster or feelings on my own and not have everybody around me hate me or should I give in and take another medication? I’ve been on both sides of this and got to come to a decision. Although I’m listening to Bon Jovi and the song Sleep When I’m Dead is on so I guess I didn’t need meds to help me sleep, so I don’t need these either. Thanks Bon Jovi I knew I could count on you to help me make important life decisions!

I'm afraid its all been wasted time

FUCK SNOW!

I contemplated leaving that and making it my entire post for added emphases on that statement but decided against it. But seriously more snow?!? Then more again over the weekend? What did I do in a past life to deserve this? It has to have been in a past life because there is nothing I have ever done, not even put together to deserve this much snow. I must have been a sick sick person. I’ll know how sick I really was if there’s just enough snow to still have to work tomorrow but just makes everything a mess and am completely trapped in over the weekend.

I can’t complain too much though, I was gonna be stuck inside working all weekend anyway. I’ve graduated out of my bedroom in my parents’ house to the basement haha. So I’ll be spending the rest of the week moving furniture up and downstairs and getting my room ready. I’m actually pretty excited about this because I now will have a bedroom and living room to myself and my own bathroom and entrance to the house. So what does that really add up too? Less encounters with my parents. Save money since I don’t have to get an actual apartment and buy some pretty cool stuff. I really just want a nice 30 some odd inch TV and a PS3 to help me pass the time while sitting by myself in my room passing the time. Or when I’m snowed in!!!

Maybe when I’m snowed in I can build my vocabulary and learn to write really well and think of a bunch of different topics so this blog will be less dull and maybe even somewhat fascinating. Who am I kidding, if I had free time to lounge around those are probably last on the list, even after clean, do my make up, and cut my finger nails with chainsaws. Ya that wasn’t really funny but you get the point. Actually do you get the point? The point was I won’t do that, so I’m just not going to lie to you or myself. I cant even get myself to change right now. I’ve been home for two hours; really it’s only been two hours?!? I haven’t even changed or showered yet. I’m sitting in my long johns, thermal shirt and mixed matched slippers. Its actually a pretty sexy look but I digress. I smell like burnt steel and my hands and face are pretty black. The joys of this job. Back to the point, what was the point? I don’t know and I’m not reading back to figure it out because I don’t care. Which might have been my original point in the first place?

Since I have resorted to bickering with myself I think now would be a good time to end this and go shower and change. Yet after writing that I still just find myself sitting at my computer as if I were glued to my chair. I really disappoint myself sometimes

You will never "find" time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.

Its 11:30 and I’m just now getting down to writing for the day. Last week was a pretty easy week considering I had a set schedule at work inside and a rest week from my workout. So basically the two things that consume my time and energy weren’t taking up my time and energy. So today I had to man up and work outside in the snow, come home and push myself as hard as I could in my workout, and go play basketball. Now that I see it in writing I know why I’m so tired all of the time. But seriously is a bad thing to be this busy?

I guess this is a first that I don’t have to bullshit through two paragraphs to get to my topic. Is it ad to be busy if it’s important things? I sometimes have trouble prioritizing my time because I don’t know which or my activities are most important. Do I have to sacrifice my work out to hang out with friends? Or do I work out, go see friends, and lose out on sleep? I just don’t know. I would love to do all of the things but I just can’t. I made a commitment to myself that I would stick with my P90X because I started it before and didn’t finish. But is getting to the physical condition I want having friends mad at me because I can’t spent enough time with them, or any time at all? I mean what’s the point of having this perfect body if nobody ever even sees it? Ok that was stupid but I was trying to make a point. It’s kind of like the parent who works so hard to provide everything his family wants and is so committed to his job that it defeats the purpose and his family just wants to spend time with him. I don’t think I’m going to lose any friends over this ordeal but I do want to spend time with them.

I guess this is just part of growing up and have to figure out what’s most important. I’m physically exhausted all of the time and I guess my Mom is right when she says I have to stop burning the candle at both ends. I’m not in college anymore and can’t expect myself to go live It up every night of the week; I have a full time job and certain responsibilities I have to deal with now. The thing is I play on 3 different sports teams which don’t even give me much free time, or time to rest on weekends either. Maybe I have to realize I’m not going to become a professional soccer player and 1 team a season will be enough. But at the same time I would play soccer every night of the week if I could so I just don’t know. So I guess for now I’m just going to have to keep stretching myself out too thin until I reach some sort of balance.

Its taken me 45 minutes to write those lousy three paragraphs and is already 12:15 and I do need to go to bed. I just got home from basketball when I started this so I was already tired. Maybe my blog is one of the things that will have to go in order to give me more time during the day? I don’t know and I don’t know if I ever will for sure but I’m going to have to find some compromise soon or I’d going to be among the living dead walking through life like a zombie. As much as I could fit into the day if I gave up sleeping I definitely know that’s not going to make me happy so that’s one of the things I have to keep for sure. So I’m getting off now and going to bed. Goodnight world!