Here I go again

So here I am coming to you again with no specific agenda. I know I said I wanted structure, but if I know I’m writing on whatever I’m thinking at the moment and not focused on any particular subject that’s all the organization I need. For those of you who know me know I’m not much of a focused person with goals and plans and move ahead with lots of determination so why should this be any different? The point of this isn’t to try and prove to anybody, including myself that I’m better or anything other than what I really am so why pretend, because in all honesty my intention isn’t to entertain readers and get thousands of views but for myself. I’m writing this for the sole reason of making myself feel better, so if this doesn’t interest you I don’t care, I don’t even want it to!
Since this whole thing is for me, about me, and by me I decided I’m going to make pasts daily. Now that may seem like a lot but if you think about it, it’s really not. In fact I’d say its an improvement of how I have been spending my time before I started this. I’m not writing this because I’m bored and have hours of free time to kill, but I decided to make time. Nobody is too busy for the things they really want to do. They just spend their time doing the things they want to do instead. If there is something that you’ve wanted to do but haven’t because you’re too busy don’t blame anybody but yourself. Chances are the time that you could be using to do what you want is being spend on pointless shit like checking the pictures your friends posted of themselves getting trashed at a party they went to on the weekend that look an awful lot like the ones of the party they were at the weekend before. Or following your friends on twitter even though you’re not a good enough friend to actually care what they are doing or to have them tell you personally. So cut the crap and unless all your time is being spent rescuing kittens and serving soup at the homeless shelter you’ve got the time. In fact if you’re reading this you’ve got time. If there is something that you’ve wanted to do for at least a week or so stop reading right now and do it. This is not as important and I guarantee you will not be missing anything in the rest of this post.
I don’t mean to be preaching now and am not a perfect example of what I say which is something I’m starting to not like about blogs. People get up on their soap boxes and give sermons to you on how to improve what you’re doing wrong and what you should do to improve yourself, but somewhere between the lines they seem to forget they themselves aren’t perfect. I don’t come to you thinking I am high and mighty and above all of you and my blog will fix all of you. In fact the more I write the more I realize my own faults, mostly because I struggle to do the very things that I am spilling onto paper. So maybe with this I will be able to address my own faults and change my behavior as well as inspire you to do the same. Wither you have the same problems I do or that this just causes you to really think honestly about yourself and what you could improve about yourself hopefully this helps. I really do hope this helps at least somebody because its helping me and I don’t want to be that selfish as to only help myself, plus if I inspire somebody to make a positive change in their life I can honestly say that I did something meaningful, and who knows when the last time I could say I did that.
Now with all that said I’m not looking for any type of praise or honor. If I do help you that’s great, I’m not looking to receive feedback on how it helped though. It’s not the glory somebody gives you that makes you feel good about something but the personal satisfaction, and that’s all I want. I honestly don’t care enough to know what I did except that I did. So in a far stretch that anything I have or will ever say is incentive enough to inspire change maybe just a “hey thanks” is all that’s needed.