Monday, February 8, 2010

Everyone has a right to be stupid; some people just abuse the privilege.

Today I found heaven, and heaven has a name. That name is Costco. This place is amazing! I’m not talking about the buying in bulk for discounted prices I’m talking about the store itself. Maybe it was the fact it was the first time being out of my house in two days but that was a freakin blast. I got to eat pizza and push a cart and get free samples. But the best part is you can do whatever you want in there. It’s not like Wal-Mart where the people walk around and yell at you for playing with toys, you get away with anything. I guess that’s part of the privilege of being a paying card carrying member. I laid down on a bunch of canned peaches and pretended to take a nap, I hid (and scared the shit out of some guy) in a huge thing where they keep extra boxes, and did a cannonball into it later. It wasn’t the fact that nobody saw because employees saw it happen and didn’t say anything, one thought it was actually funny and hid me under some boxes! I felt like royalty today in Costco, is that the same concept that country clubs have too?

I guess it was the cabin fever that made it so much more enjoyable because everything else we did today was a lot more than it should have been. We yelled at people as we drove by them and swore at all the bad drivers who were idiots in the snow. One car in particular had managed to drive halfway up one of the snow embankments and got stuck. I don’t know what they were thinking trying to drive up it because they didn’t just barely knick it, they were full on tried to drive straight up that son of a bitch. They actually made it about halfway up to before they suck in, looks like they won’t be getting their car back until June.

Also driving home there was a little old lady who couldn’t even stand up fully that was trying to shovel out her driveway. I told the driver to stop and I hopped out to go help this poor old lady. I offered my help and she gladly accepted and I got to work and cleared out the rest of her driveway. She offered to pay me after I took over the shoveling but I told her that it wasn’t necessary. So I finish my work and she tries to hand me money and I kindly refuse because I didn’t do it to take her money but because she was truly in need of help. She insisted that I take it and as I tried to push her hand away she yells “than I’ll just leave it here” and throws the money at me. So I pick up the bills and she walks back inside her house. I count the bills and it’s a lousy six bucks all in ones. Seriously I know it’s a recession but six dollars? I would have complained had I been doing it for money but instead I waited for her to return to her house and I walked up and put the money in a secure place where she would see it next time she exited her house.

I don’t even know why she bothered she definitely did not look capable of driving, and absolutely should not drive with snow on the ground. And for the record, if you have an SUV it doesn’t mean you can drive in snow. Sunday there was people getting stuck all over the place and it was all SUV’s. You didn’t see little cars getting stick because they knew they couldn’t make it. I have an SUV and this thing sucks so I just left it alone till all the roads were clear and got it today. I guess its true that only stupid people are breeding. Seriously people just seem be getting stupider every single day and its crazy. Is there something in the water? Or are they just too stupid to know how birth control works so they are the one poppin out little retards? Is stupidity the dominant gene and being smart is recessive? Whatever it is something is going down. First there was the obese kids epidemic, and now it’s turning out that those little fatsos are complete morons too. The future of this world is doomed.

I could write more but I think I’ll save it for tomorrow because I could write a lot on bad parenting and all these stupid nanny 911 shows and trading spouse shit. When they trade wives do they sleep with them too? That’s what I want to know, I don’t care that little Sally doesn’t like the new mommy because she’s mean and ugly. But I’ll save all that drama for tomorrow.

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